I am truly grateful to all of you who take the time to visit my blog. I thank you so very much for your likes and comments. My motivation to write comes from the slight chance that I may get a new reader; to share some insight with others struggling, so we know we’re not alone with our adult ADD. Love to you all! Xoxo
Day in and day out with a disorder takes it’s toll on a person. Always trying to conform-to-the-norm, is a fruitless effort. I’d rather just be me, without the label, without the description of a person that I don’t want to be; Lazy, unmotivated, lack of discipline, stupid, crazy, too emotional, unstable, forgetful, uncaring. I’m sick of all the lables. I’m ashamed of the way I am. I cannot help my disorder, no one with ADHD actually wants it, we just learn to cope, and hope everyday that we’ll be able to overcome just one more time. We must keep the fascade of normalcy ever present especially if we could ever hope to function reasonably in this disfunctional world.
We ADHDers need positive lables; creative, fun, energetic, problem-solver, multitasker, go-getter, enthusiastic,… We need to feel accepted and important to you. The wrong label put on someone who is silently suffering is devastating. ADHD is a disability, not an inability.
It starts with a thought, a small worry, a slight gesture or change in mood or emotion. It all begins innocently enough. Then, the small fluttering in my stomach starts to happen. The slight shakiness starts way down deep in my core, then radiates out to the tips of my fingers. As the grave thoughts and feelings get more unavoidable, the fluttering in my stomach turns into a feeling of strong vibration. Unlike nausea, this feeling is unwavering. The shaking is getting worse and the sweating begins. My pupils are now dilated as I am completely, physically, terrified. The emotions that accompany these intense physical symptoms are terrifying in themselves. Every irrational fear is amplified as thoughts of dying are now consuming me. I must be dying, I feel so out-of-control, detached, alone, AFRAID! If I’m not dying, I must, because these feelings are now too much to bear! I have ENORMOUS amounts of empathy for anyone who suffers from anxiety attacks. They are HELL.
If you’re in a crappy mood, keep it to yourself. Don’t be the dark cloud over everyones sunshine! Attempt to shed some of your bad attitude by feeling the warmth of someone close. Quit pushing them away or away they’ll stay. Be nice even if you don’t feel like it, kindness is contagious. And always remember the golden rule! Treat people with kindness and warmth. Respect is earned, be fair. And, above all, never judge anyone, your opinion is not their fate!
I don’t know how any one could get angry with an ADHD child or aduld for just being who they are; hyper (energetic), talks too much (enthusiastic), doesn’t listen (actually trying very hard to), unfocused (duh), never finishes anything (multi-tasking is hard), dumb (actually brilliant if we are taught how we learn). We just need some patients and understanding.
Gotta love ADHDers of all ages, we’re just so much fun to be around.
…even though I’m inconsistent as hell, I still seem get something down in this blog every now and then. A few new developments have arose since the last time I wrote; first of all, I’m seeking a new diagnosis. I truly believe there is more to me than meets the eye. My ADHD is a constant struggle, but I have other issues I haven’t dealt with in a healthy manner. Secondly, my third eldest son (he just turned 17) had been diagnosed with ADHD. That makes 2 of my 6 sons, so far, to be “just like mommy”. Much to their fathers’ dispair, I’m sure. Lol
All in all, things are peachy!
Love to all…
I have been doing a lot of self evaluating lately resulting from another huge mistake made by me. Mistakes are common in the life of an ADDer, but the risky behaviors I display are not. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my diagnosis of ADHD is accurate, bit I truly believe there is something more.
Due to my traumatic childhood and my inability to communicate my feelings accurately, I think I may be struggling with BPD. I will be seeking a professional dx next week.
Thanks for reading, God bless!
Good day readers, it’s going to be a terrific Tuesday. I am planning a day all to myself, for I am a deer widow. My husband will be leaving to go hunting for the day, the kids will be in school, oh whatever shall I do in my quiet house?. I really want to do some furniture rearranging today, but I have a feeling my ADHD will get the best of me and I’ll bounce from room to room, not getting much of anything done. Wish me luck.
I had a doctor appointment yesterday. I am now being medicated for my bipolar disorder as well as my ADHD. It kind of concerns me taking a new psych med, bit I’m optimistic that it will bring some positive change. My doctor also wants me to have an EKG to make sure the stimulants aren’t having any adverse effects on my heart. I’m told this is common practice on “older” adults. What the hell, “older”?? I’m only 43! Oh well, I guess I’m not 20 anymore. LOL
In short, I also want to say “thank you” very much to those of you who read and follow my blog. I truly hope to give readers insight on what living with ADHD is like. God Bless!
I feel like I have a love/hate relationship with this blog. I’m sorry, yet, again, for my long absence. But my inconsistent ways have, once again, gotten the best if me. I really do think about writing and that’s as far as it goes.
But what I really want to thank everyone who has taken the time to visit my blog! Thank you very much!
Hello readers! Hope everyone is well, cause, thank goodness, I am. I was having some bouts of extreme anxiety, For now, the hell of it has subsided. Plus, I have been trying to be more productive the last few days. And even though, I’ve not gotten a lot done, I’ve accomplished some. That makes me proud of myself, which seems to help the anxiety. I also started using a vape pen. I know it may not be the best thing for me but it seems to take the edge off my nerves. Buying the JUUL was kind of an impulsive purchase but I like it. Thanks ADHD!
I am also excited tonight as my family will be getting together with some friends we haven’t seen for a while. A campfire, Seagram’s, and good friends! Priceless!