Favoritism Hurts, Please Stop

I am beyond brokenhearted rn. How some people can treat their own children absolutely blows my mind!πŸ’”πŸ˜€πŸ˜ 
It’s one thing to have a split or blended family, it’s another thing, entirely, to treat them like they don’t quite fit in.😠😑🀬 But, to intentionally exclude a child from his own family vacation to
Disney World! —-and then, let him in on the “secret” weeks afterward, boasting that the Disney trip had actually been a gift to his brother for his 11th b’day!😑😑😀😀🀬🀬 πŸ’”πŸ˜₯
My son was tearful as he told me this. The sadness he feels is amplified in my heart 10000Γ—!
How could his OWN (only living, biological) grandma and grandpa choose to leave our son out?😒 We have 2 sons!!! Not 1! Two!
……And their father! 🀬🀬🀬 How could he be so unfair to his son??? I appalled, crushed, and pissed!!!
I will NEVER EVER understand how a parent or grandparent can play “favorites” like that! SMDH!!
Don’t they realize the damage they are causing to the child being left out??? These kids are HURTING inside! They are NOT stupid! They SEE the difference that is made between them and the “favorite” child(ren).
They notice the amount of gifts under the tree with their name on them. They notice who, all-of-a-sudden fell terribly ill, and can’t make it to their birthday party, yet the very next day, take Mary’s child to the McDonalds play-place for lunch!
They F-ING notice!!! THEY ARE NOT STUPID!!! We, their mothers, their advocates, their shoulder to cry on; are drying our own tears as were explaining to them how YOU DO love them, YOU’RE just “busy”,..again!😠
They start to feel as if they are not good enough, that they are not smart enough, that they are not worthy of your love…. They recant, over and over, what they could have possibly done wrong. SAD! SAD! SAD!😭
They also begin to blame themselves…. they think that maybe if they’d behaved better at the store with grandma, the ONE time she took them, she would come visit more.
Let me tell you something…..
I will NOT allow this bs to continue to emotionally damage my child! I refuse to lie for you to spare my children the heartache! I will gently and lovingly explain to them what a sorry person(people) you are.πŸ’© I will help my child to rise above the heartache and promote emotional strength within him!πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ˜’πŸ’–
I will teach my children the skills they need to protect their tender, innocent, loving hearts from people like you. I will not allow you to embed your unfair, selfish acts upon my sons happy, childhood memories. I will NEVER EVER, EVER let ANYONE make my child feel unworthy or ignored!β€Ό
NO ONE with half-ass intentions deserves, the privilege, of a role in my childrens lives. It’s YOU who’ll miss out in the long run.πŸ–€
STEP-UP OR STEP OUT, the choice is yours.

πŸ’” Found this! πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ˜₯😒πŸ˜₯😭😭
2, yes 2 of those children are mine and his. It may not be so obvious who’s the very “favorite” here, BUT, it is ABSOLUTELY OBVIOUS that, my precious guy, is NOT. His (full-blood)brother is lying on the back of the couch.
This pic was taken on Christmas Day in 2017. 😒😒😒(at his dads parents home)πŸ’”πŸ’”
My baby…he looks so sad, while all the other grandchildren are beaming!!! IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY! He should be elated! But,… he’s NOT! πŸ’”πŸ˜‘
This picture speaks volumes about the emotional turmoil “favoritism” causes!!!

IF you hug one of them,

Hug ALL of them.
If you miss one of them,
Miss ALL of them.
If you bake cookies with one of them,
Bake with ALL of them.
If you celebrate her/his birthday,
Celebrate ALL their birthdays.
If you “treat” one of them,
“Treat” ALL of them.
If you love one of them,
Love ALL OF THEM!β€πŸ’ž



Like Bricks In A Backpack

Some days my secondary disorders overshadow the first one. My depression has stemmed from years of undiagnosed ADD. The regrets and disappointments are almost too much to bear.
I have etched each let-down, each irrisponsibile act, and each broken heart; I’ve etched everytime I dissapointed someone, everytime I didn’t listen, and everytime I wasn’t the friend that I should have been. All of these moments are each etched in a brick.  I carry these bricks in a tattered backpack; on my back I carry this weight. I read these bricks every day and relive the pain and hurt I’ve caused; and the pain, hurt, and unrelenting guilt I feel.
I wonder, if now, a new disorder will appear. The Christian in me says, “let go, let God”. That may be the best advice I can give myself.

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Living With And Loving My ADD

At 27 years old, I was diagnosed with ADD. I was relieved to finally know what was wrong with me. I was never able to get myself going in life; in relationships, in parenting, in college.Β  All that spinning-my-stationary-tires took a toll and caused me great angst.Β  I was depressed, to say the least, and frustrated.Β  Why on earth couldn’t I get it together and be a productive part of society, as it seemed all my peers were.

A moment of realization occurred when I first started taking ADD medication,Β  the medication made me more mainstream, but they took away some of the positives of this “disorder”.Β  With one swift swallow of a pill, all of my creativity and out-of-the-box thoughts and ideas were gone!Β  Sure the medicine did exactly what it was supposed to do, but at what cost?Β  Do I want to be creative or calm, sociable or quiet?Β  Literally it’s like one extreme or the other.

At the end of the day, I have to be able to accept myself!Β  That was much of the problem; I was trying so hard to be more “mainstream” like everyone else; that made self-acceptance impossible. So now I’ve learned to love ME, ADD and all!

The Guilt Complex; Why Is It Always My Fault

Am I constantly misunderstood or is it those around me.Β  When I was a child my mother used to always tell me that I “should be ashamed of yourself”.Β  I’ve since learned that if you shame a child they will grow up with a guiltΒ  complex.Β  I eat, sleep, and breathe this problem; even now at 40 years old I still feel like everything I do is wrong.Β  From the simple act of putting on makeup, to making a quick trip to the store, somehow I’ve done something wrong (least that’s what I’m told).Β  I just cower as I get screamed at for what I have no real idea.Β  I am a grown woman who is treated like a child on a daily basis. I know that with ADD comes an inferiority complex, that is a hard thing to deal with.Β  I feel younger and more immature than any of my peers.Β  I hate this disorder, I can’t help but be verbally and emotionally abused.Β  Why does everything seem okay to me then I get a bombshell dropped on me that I’ve caused everything.Β  I’m sorry this post wasn’t supposed to go this way.Β  Thanks for reading…