Favoritism Hurts, Please Stop

I am beyond brokenhearted rn. How some people can treat their own children absolutely blows my mind!πŸ’”πŸ˜€πŸ˜ 
It’s one thing to have a split or blended family, it’s another thing, entirely, to treat them like they don’t quite fit in.😠😑🀬 But, to intentionally exclude a child from his own family vacation to
Disney World! —-and then, let him in on the “secret” weeks afterward, boasting that the Disney trip had actually been a gift to his brother for his 11th b’day!😑😑😀😀🀬🀬 πŸ’”πŸ˜₯
My son was tearful as he told me this. The sadness he feels is amplified in my heart 10000Γ—!
How could his OWN (only living, biological) grandma and grandpa choose to leave our son out?😒 We have 2 sons!!! Not 1! Two!
……And their father! 🀬🀬🀬 How could he be so unfair to his son??? I appalled, crushed, and pissed!!!
I will NEVER EVER understand how a parent or grandparent can play “favorites” like that! SMDH!!
Don’t they realize the damage they are causing to the child being left out??? These kids are HURTING inside! They are NOT stupid! They SEE the difference that is made between them and the “favorite” child(ren).
They notice the amount of gifts under the tree with their name on them. They notice who, all-of-a-sudden fell terribly ill, and can’t make it to their birthday party, yet the very next day, take Mary’s child to the McDonalds play-place for lunch!
They F-ING notice!!! THEY ARE NOT STUPID!!! We, their mothers, their advocates, their shoulder to cry on; are drying our own tears as were explaining to them how YOU DO love them, YOU’RE just “busy”,..again!😠
They start to feel as if they are not good enough, that they are not smart enough, that they are not worthy of your love…. They recant, over and over, what they could have possibly done wrong. SAD! SAD! SAD!😭
They also begin to blame themselves…. they think that maybe if they’d behaved better at the store with grandma, the ONE time she took them, she would come visit more.
Let me tell you something…..
I will NOT allow this bs to continue to emotionally damage my child! I refuse to lie for you to spare my children the heartache! I will gently and lovingly explain to them what a sorry person(people) you are.πŸ’© I will help my child to rise above the heartache and promote emotional strength within him!πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ˜’πŸ’–
I will teach my children the skills they need to protect their tender, innocent, loving hearts from people like you. I will not allow you to embed your unfair, selfish acts upon my sons happy, childhood memories. I will NEVER EVER, EVER let ANYONE make my child feel unworthy or ignored!β€Ό
NO ONE with half-ass intentions deserves, the privilege, of a role in my childrens lives. It’s YOU who’ll miss out in the long run.πŸ–€
STEP-UP OR STEP OUT, the choice is yours.

πŸ’” Found this! πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ˜₯😒πŸ˜₯😭😭
2, yes 2 of those children are mine and his. It may not be so obvious who’s the very “favorite” here, BUT, it is ABSOLUTELY OBVIOUS that, my precious guy, is NOT. His (full-blood)brother is lying on the back of the couch.
This pic was taken on Christmas Day in 2017. 😒😒😒(at his dads parents home)πŸ’”πŸ’”
My baby…he looks so sad, while all the other grandchildren are beaming!!! IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY! He should be elated! But,… he’s NOT! πŸ’”πŸ˜‘
This picture speaks volumes about the emotional turmoil “favoritism” causes!!!

IF you hug one of them,

Hug ALL of them.
If you miss one of them,
Miss ALL of them.
If you bake cookies with one of them,
Bake with ALL of them.
If you celebrate her/his birthday,
Celebrate ALL their birthdays.
If you “treat” one of them,
“Treat” ALL of them.
If you love one of them,
Love ALL OF THEM!β€πŸ’ž



Medicine Is Good, At Times

It is so nice to be able to focus on what I choose to, not what my mind wants to. My mind would like to be all over the place, but not today. Today I took the medicine that makes the ADD go away. Literally, for the next few hours, I get to be as ‘normal’ as any non-ADDer. That is the only reason I can write right now.

It is also so nice to actually engage in conversation with my husband. He can yap and yap and yap, and I will catch every word. Usually, I cannot focus long enough to chat, let alone, listen to my husbands looooong stories. Today is a good day for me. Enjoy yours!

Living Disabled, No Living Mis-labled

Day in and day out with a disorder takes it’s toll on a person. Always trying to conform-to-the-norm, is a fruitless effort.  I’d rather just be me, without the label, without the description of a person that I don’t want to be; Lazy, unmotivated, lack of discipline, stupid, crazy, too emotional, unstable, forgetful, uncaring. I’m sick of all the lables. I’m ashamed of the way I am. I cannot help my disorder, no one with ADHD actually wants it, we just learn to cope, and hope everyday that we’ll be able to overcome just one more time. We must keep the fascade of normalcy ever present especially if we could ever hope to function reasonably in this disfunctional world. 

We ADHDers need positive lables; creative, fun, energetic, problem-solver, multitasker, go-getter, enthusiastic,…  We need to feel accepted  and important to you. The wrong label put on someone who is silently suffering is devastating. ADHD is a disability, not an inability. 

Just Love Em

I don’t know how any one could get angry with an ADHD child or aduld for just being who they are; hyper (energetic), talks too much (enthusiastic), doesn’t listen (actually trying very hard to), unfocused (duh), never finishes anything (multi-tasking is hard), dumb (actually brilliant if we are taught how we learn). We just need some patients and understanding.

Gotta love ADHDers of all ages, we’re just so much fun to be around. 

Hello Readers, I’m Still HereΒ 

…even though I’m inconsistent as hell, I still seem get something down in this blog every now and then. A few new developments have arose since the last time I wrote; first of all, I’m seeking a new diagnosis. I truly believe there is more to me than meets the eye. My ADHD is a constant struggle, but I have other issues I haven’t dealt with in a healthy manner. Secondly, my third eldest son (he just turned 17) had been diagnosed with ADHD. That makes 2 of my 6 sons, so far,  to be “just like mommy”. Much to their fathers’ dispair, I’m  sure. Lol

All in all,  things are peachy! 

Love to all… 

BPD And Me?Β 

I have been doing a lot of self evaluating lately resulting from another huge mistake made by me. Mistakes are common in the life of an ADDer, but the risky behaviors I display are not. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my diagnosis of ADHD is accurate, bit I truly believe there is something more.

Due to my traumatic childhood and my inability to communicate my feelings accurately, I think I may be struggling with BPD. Β I will be seeking a professional dx next week.

Thanks for reading, God bless!

Hi-Speed Hayride (huh)?

I just hope I can really dictate the hilarity of what my husband said to me last night as we were about to drift off to sleep… Β Sleep apenea is a disorder in which some folks actually stop breathing in their sleep. My husband has this manageable issue, and with the help of a C-pap machine, he sleeps comfortably. The C-pap is worn like a mask over the nose and mouth (think Darth Vader) and blows a constant blast of air directly into his face as he sleeps. I’ve tried on the mask and it feels like you have your head hanging out a car window at 65mph. I couldn’t stand it! Β As he was suiting up for a good nights rest, Β I asked my dozing husband how he could stand that thing blowing in his face. He responded; I think back on fond memories in my life…. like when I Β would take my motorcycle out for a ride; the blast of wind in my face so strong, it would make my eyes water. Or like… when I would drive my speedboat standing up. The air rushing over the windshield would make my cheeks flap, or… Β like… going on… a hayride.


Living With And Loving My ADD

At 27 years old, I was diagnosed with ADD. I was relieved to finally know what was wrong with me. I was never able to get myself going in life; in relationships, in parenting, in college.Β  All that spinning-my-stationary-tires took a toll and caused me great angst.Β  I was depressed, to say the least, and frustrated.Β  Why on earth couldn’t I get it together and be a productive part of society, as it seemed all my peers were.

A moment of realization occurred when I first started taking ADD medication,Β  the medication made me more mainstream, but they took away some of the positives of this “disorder”.Β  With one swift swallow of a pill, all of my creativity and out-of-the-box thoughts and ideas were gone!Β  Sure the medicine did exactly what it was supposed to do, but at what cost?Β  Do I want to be creative or calm, sociable or quiet?Β  Literally it’s like one extreme or the other.

At the end of the day, I have to be able to accept myself!Β  That was much of the problem; I was trying so hard to be more “mainstream” like everyone else; that made self-acceptance impossible. So now I’ve learned to love ME, ADD and all!

The Right Diagnosis

I have always known that getting an ADD diagnosis as an adult is not always an easy thing to do; but oh, so important. If you are a male child who cannot sit through dinner, you’re diagnosed immediately with having ADHD. But, if you’re a 20 or 30 something adult who’s life is still going nowhere and your relationships are failing, it must be something else.
I’ve had my ADD diagnosis for 12 years now but, was recently diagnosed as having bi-polar disorder (along with, possibly instead of ADD). I’ve been taking medications for both disorders with unfavorable side effects. I know myself, I live in this head of mine and I am sure as any doctor that my initial diagnosis of ADD is correct.
I have a new psyc now who agrees. The Bi-Polar diagnosis is wrong and I’m just severely ADD. Whew! I knew that all along.
Bottom line is, it is very important to be diagnosed correctly when dealing with psyc issues. The medications for these disorders are very powerful psycotropic drugs that can have serious emotional side effects and can make mental issues much worse.

Home Sweet Overwhelming Home

Hi Readers!Β  I just got home from a week long camping trip; and boy does it seem like I have a zillion things to do.Β  I was so anxious to leave for my camping trip that I left my house in a disarray. So, now I’m home with camping mess to clean and house to clean.Β  A real overwhelming treat for my fragile ADD brain.Β  I will get my medication filled in a couple of days, maybe I’ll clean then. Or maybe I’ll throw in a load of towels and go ahead and unload the dishwasher….Urrgh! Maybe not.

I’m in a familiar place once again; the wheels are spinning, smoking even, and I still have a difficult time getting anything done.Β  Anyone with ADD can relate, I’m sure.Β  I try to think of a productive ways to attack my house-mess.Β  One room at a time seems like the logical way to get things done, but that would require me to stay in one place for a period of time, and, unmedicated, I just cant do that.

Actually, I cannot believe I’m writing this post.Β  As I said before, I will get my script of Vyvanse in a couple of days, I usually can only focus enough to write when I’m medicated.Β  Matter of fact, I will be writing a new post soon.Β  –on a subject I’m willing to share because I think it affects a lot of adult ADDers.Β  Look forΒ  ‘The ADDiction, My Story’Β  coming soon.