Favoritism Hurts, Please Stop

I am beyond brokenhearted rn. How some people can treat their own children absolutely blows my mind!πŸ’”πŸ˜€πŸ˜ 
It’s one thing to have a split or blended family, it’s another thing, entirely, to treat them like they don’t quite fit in.😠😑🀬 But, to intentionally exclude a child from his own family vacation to
Disney World! —-and then, let him in on the “secret” weeks afterward, boasting that the Disney trip had actually been a gift to his brother for his 11th b’day!😑😑😀😀🀬🀬 πŸ’”πŸ˜₯
My son was tearful as he told me this. The sadness he feels is amplified in my heart 10000Γ—!
How could his OWN (only living, biological) grandma and grandpa choose to leave our son out?😒 We have 2 sons!!! Not 1! Two!
……And their father! 🀬🀬🀬 How could he be so unfair to his son??? I appalled, crushed, and pissed!!!
I will NEVER EVER understand how a parent or grandparent can play “favorites” like that! SMDH!!
Don’t they realize the damage they are causing to the child being left out??? These kids are HURTING inside! They are NOT stupid! They SEE the difference that is made between them and the “favorite” child(ren).
They notice the amount of gifts under the tree with their name on them. They notice who, all-of-a-sudden fell terribly ill, and can’t make it to their birthday party, yet the very next day, take Mary’s child to the McDonalds play-place for lunch!
They F-ING notice!!! THEY ARE NOT STUPID!!! We, their mothers, their advocates, their shoulder to cry on; are drying our own tears as were explaining to them how YOU DO love them, YOU’RE just “busy”,..again!😠
They start to feel as if they are not good enough, that they are not smart enough, that they are not worthy of your love…. They recant, over and over, what they could have possibly done wrong. SAD! SAD! SAD!😭
They also begin to blame themselves…. they think that maybe if they’d behaved better at the store with grandma, the ONE time she took them, she would come visit more.
Let me tell you something…..
I will NOT allow this bs to continue to emotionally damage my child! I refuse to lie for you to spare my children the heartache! I will gently and lovingly explain to them what a sorry person(people) you are.πŸ’© I will help my child to rise above the heartache and promote emotional strength within him!πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ˜’πŸ’–
I will teach my children the skills they need to protect their tender, innocent, loving hearts from people like you. I will not allow you to embed your unfair, selfish acts upon my sons happy, childhood memories. I will NEVER EVER, EVER let ANYONE make my child feel unworthy or ignored!β€Ό
NO ONE with half-ass intentions deserves, the privilege, of a role in my childrens lives. It’s YOU who’ll miss out in the long run.πŸ–€
STEP-UP OR STEP OUT, the choice is yours.

πŸ’” Found this! πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ˜₯😒πŸ˜₯😭😭
2, yes 2 of those children are mine and his. It may not be so obvious who’s the very “favorite” here, BUT, it is ABSOLUTELY OBVIOUS that, my precious guy, is NOT. His (full-blood)brother is lying on the back of the couch.
This pic was taken on Christmas Day in 2017. 😒😒😒(at his dads parents home)πŸ’”πŸ’”
My baby…he looks so sad, while all the other grandchildren are beaming!!! IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY! He should be elated! But,… he’s NOT! πŸ’”πŸ˜‘
This picture speaks volumes about the emotional turmoil “favoritism” causes!!!
😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑

IF you hug one of them,

Hug ALL of them.
If you miss one of them,
Miss ALL of them.
If you bake cookies with one of them,
Bake with ALL of them.
If you celebrate her/his birthday,
Celebrate ALL their birthdays.
If you “treat” one of them,
“Treat” ALL of them.
If you love one of them,
Love ALL OF THEM!β€πŸ’ž

πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©πŸ‘±β€β™€πŸ‘§πŸΌπŸ‘¨πŸΎπŸ‘¦πŸ‘ΆπŸΏπŸ§’πŸΎπŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€
PLEASE QUIT PLAYING “FAVORITES”

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I WILL be a success with ADHD

This is a response, to a reply on a Reddit post about ADHD, that I wrote…
Bless your heart, you have struggled long enough. I hear you, loud and clear, when you say that you are broke financially and emotionally. I completely understand about all the “what if’s”. I’m no different than you. At this very moment, I believe my bank account holds $1.76!! I am struggling to pay for real estate classes that start next week, and I have NO CLUE where the money is going to come from! I have such BIG HOPES AND DREAMS, am I going to GIVE UP, yet AGAIN, just because I can’t come up with 300 bucks???
… HELL NO!
NOT THIS TIME!!
But, in all actuality, it’s not about the money. It’s about the mindset. If you lack determination and drive, you will struggle. Most people, like us, just don’t have the drive. I sure didn’t! And I’m not even 100% sure if I’ve got it now, but I am NOT giving myself the option of giving up.
A couple of weeks ago, I did some serious soul searching. (I do this on a daily basis, lol, don’t we all!?) The conversation in my head began the same as it always does…” I suck, my life is going NOWHERE, I’m broke, something has to change, I can’t go on, this time will be different,…” I almost couldn’t even continue the conversation…… It was the SAME thing I’d been telling myself for years and I hadn’t listened to myself before, why should I now????
Here is where it gets real. Instead of talking to myself, I decided to take a good look at myself. I briefly glanced at my unproductive past, filled with dissapointments, failures, and damaged relationships. I, then, tried to focus on my future…..What future??? I could only see MORE failures ahead. I started thinking about the PEOPLE in my life that I had let down. My children, who at this time, had/have NO real role model in their lives to emulate. How on earth can I expect a positive, healthy, successful future for them, when I’m not living a successful life?? No wonder my family has alienated me!! Eventually, everyone, even my precious children, will have no use for me! What the hell do I have to offer anyone? I am of absolutely no use to anyone, I am seroiusly just taking up space. I AM, IN FACT, A FAILURE! I frantically began searching for a way out of this mess of a life I’d made and quickly realized there wasn’t one!! I WAS, for the first time, TERRIFIED!
Only my death will fix this, so I seriously contemplated suicide. I believed that if I wasn’t around, my precious children would be forced to live with people that would, hopefully, push them to be the BEST they can be!! I want that for them, they deserve that!
My mind was made up, I’m going to kill myself. But, I didn’t feel good about this decision. I knew I needed to die, I just didn’t want my kids to cry for me. πŸ˜₯😟😭😭😭
And, in that moment, in some crazy twist-of-fate, something inside me snapped!!!
I CAN’T LEAVE THEM! I WON’T LEAVE THEM!
What the fuck am I thinking?? ADHD strikes again…telling me to give up, cant do this, failure! OH, NO ADHD! NOT TODAY!!
I changed my whole pattern of thinking. My whole pattern of thinking HAD TO CHANGE!!! I realized that the things i was doing in my life, up to this point, WERE NOT WORKING!!! So, I began doing the OPPOSITE of everything!! …
Aaaaand, guess what???
It’s WORKING!

Kindness Matters

If you’re in a crappy mood, keep it to yourself. Don’t be the dark cloud  over everyones sunshine!  Attempt to shed some of your bad attitude by feeling the warmth of someone close. Quit pushing them away or away they’ll stay.  Be nice even if you don’t feel like it, kindness is contagious.   And always remember the golden rule! Treat people with kindness and warmth. Respect is earned, be fair. And, above all, never judge anyone, your opinion is not their fate! 

Addiction

From the age of 5 I’ve known what dope was. I knew the smell, how it makes people act, how it makes people feel, how it made you feel, I wished for a different you, everyday. A do over, a do over on being conceived, and do over on being born here, you could’ve created someone else but you created me, tortured me with your selfishness, arrogance, ignorance, verbal abuse and self hate. I hate you, and what you did to 3 perfect souls. As hard as this is to say, I love you, you created 3 beautiful souls who will become everything you weren’t. Thank you for teaching me at age 5 not to become an addict. –Unknown

I don’t know who wrote this but, when I ran across it, it really hit home. You see, Β I grew up with a pill addicted mom, and thank God, I forgave her for her “raw humanness” before she passed. Though, I still pray for the little girl inside me that was so often devastated by her mommy’s behavior.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your day!

Meds Work – If You Take Them

Being the “special” individual that I am; I take a few different medications daily to maintain (almost) normal function.Β  I live with adult adhd, depression, and anxiety.Β  It has taken months, if not years, to get my concoction of medications just right.Β  And at 7:30 every morning, I take them.Β  I cannot imagine how I would function without them.Β  But I know that there are individuals who could possibly benefit from medication therapy, but choose to not take medicine. I can’t understand why. If you are someone who chooses no meds , comment a quick ‘why’ below. Thanks.

Like Bricks In A Backpack

Some days my secondary disorders overshadow the first one. My depression has stemmed from years of undiagnosed ADD. The regrets and disappointments are almost too much to bear.
I have etched each let-down, each irrisponsibile act, and each broken heart; I’ve etched everytime I dissapointed someone, everytime I didn’t listen, and everytime I wasn’t the friend that I should have been. All of these moments are each etched in a brick.  I carry these bricks in a tattered backpack; on my back I carry this weight. I read these bricks every day and relive the pain and hurt I’ve caused; and the pain, hurt, and unrelenting guilt I feel.
I wonder, if now, a new disorder will appear. The Christian in me says, “let go, let God”. That may be the best advice I can give myself.

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My Closest ‘Enemies’?

Finally getting an accurate diagnosis of adult add at 27 years old was a welcomed blessing; I finally had a name for my seemingly impossible persona. To say my life was a little crazy would be an understatement; I bounced around like a high-flying superball. I am a literal poster-child for this disorder. After my diagnosis, I tried to learn everything I could about ADD, so I could have a better understanding of how I ticked.
Revealing my diagnosis to those closest to me was actually pretty devastating. No one was surprised, they reacted as if they had known all along; I honestly felt like the but of some kind of cruel joke. If my issues were so obvious, than why didn’t someone, at some point in my life, suggest that I seek a diagnosis of some sort! It seems they all just sat back and watched me make mistake after mistake, bad decision after bad decision; and come completely unravelled by the age ofΒ  27. I had been drowning in my own self-created ocean of disappointment and failure, totally aware, yet to weak to pull myself ashore. Why wasn’t I thrown a lifeline? Was my life not worth saving; or was it just easier for people to watch me struggle.
I still struggle today with that realization. Where do I find self-worth when those I loved found me so unworthy.
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