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Favoritism Hurts, Please Stop

I am beyond brokenhearted rn. How some people can treat their own children absolutely blows my mind!πŸ’”πŸ˜€πŸ˜ 
It’s one thing to have a split or blended family, it’s another thing, entirely, to treat them like they don’t quite fit in.😠😑🀬 But, to intentionally exclude a child from his own family vacation to
Disney World! —-and then, let him in on the “secret” weeks afterward, boasting that the Disney trip had actually been a gift to his brother for his 11th b’day!😑😑😀😀🀬🀬 πŸ’”πŸ˜₯
My son was tearful as he told me this. The sadness he feels is amplified in my heart 10000Γ—!
How could his OWN (only living, biological) grandma and grandpa choose to leave our son out?😒 We have 2 sons!!! Not 1! Two!
……And their father! 🀬🀬🀬 How could he be so unfair to his son??? I appalled, crushed, and pissed!!!
I will NEVER EVER understand how a parent or grandparent can play “favorites” like that! SMDH!!
Don’t they realize the damage they are causing to the child being left out??? These kids are HURTING inside! They are NOT stupid! They SEE the difference that is made between them and the “favorite” child(ren).
They notice the amount of gifts under the tree with their name on them. They notice who, all-of-a-sudden fell terribly ill, and can’t make it to their birthday party, yet the very next day, take Mary’s child to the McDonalds play-place for lunch!
They F-ING notice!!! THEY ARE NOT STUPID!!! We, their mothers, their advocates, their shoulder to cry on; are drying our own tears as were explaining to them how YOU DO love them, YOU’RE just “busy”,..again!😠
They start to feel as if they are not good enough, that they are not smart enough, that they are not worthy of your love…. They recant, over and over, what they could have possibly done wrong. SAD! SAD! SAD!😭
They also begin to blame themselves…. they think that maybe if they’d behaved better at the store with grandma, the ONE time she took them, she would come visit more.
Let me tell you something…..
I will NOT allow this bs to continue to emotionally damage my child! I refuse to lie for you to spare my children the heartache! I will gently and lovingly explain to them what a sorry person(people) you are.πŸ’© I will help my child to rise above the heartache and promote emotional strength within him!πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ˜’πŸ’–
I will teach my children the skills they need to protect their tender, innocent, loving hearts from people like you. I will not allow you to embed your unfair, selfish acts upon my sons happy, childhood memories. I will NEVER EVER, EVER let ANYONE make my child feel unworthy or ignored!β€Ό
NO ONE with half-ass intentions deserves, the privilege, of a role in my childrens lives. It’s YOU who’ll miss out in the long run.πŸ–€
STEP-UP OR STEP OUT, the choice is yours.

πŸ’” Found this! πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ˜₯😒πŸ˜₯😭😭
2, yes 2 of those children are mine and his. It may not be so obvious who’s the very “favorite” here, BUT, it is ABSOLUTELY OBVIOUS that, my precious guy, is NOT. His (full-blood)brother is lying on the back of the couch.
This pic was taken on Christmas Day in 2017. 😒😒😒(at his dads parents home)πŸ’”πŸ’”
My baby…he looks so sad, while all the other grandchildren are beaming!!! IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY! He should be elated! But,… he’s NOT! πŸ’”πŸ˜‘
This picture speaks volumes about the emotional turmoil “favoritism” causes!!!
😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑🐻😑

IF you hug one of them,

Hug ALL of them.
If you miss one of them,
Miss ALL of them.
If you bake cookies with one of them,
Bake with ALL of them.
If you celebrate her/his birthday,
Celebrate ALL their birthdays.
If you “treat” one of them,
“Treat” ALL of them.
If you love one of them,
Love ALL OF THEM!β€πŸ’ž

πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©πŸ‘±β€β™€πŸ‘§πŸΌπŸ‘¨πŸΎπŸ‘¦πŸ‘ΆπŸΏπŸ§’πŸΎπŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€
PLEASE QUIT PLAYING “FAVORITES”

My Reality

I don’t even have the attention span to keep this blog going! LOL   Since I have so much trouble writing in this blog consistantly, I’m letting my son stand in for a featured post.

 

Salutations! My name is Chaisten and I’m kid #3 (but really I’m #1 because let’s be real). Anyway, I’m 17 years old and I just recently moved back in with my Mother. Moving back in with my Mom has shown me a lot about my own ADHD. I was just recently diagnosed because it hasn’t really been a problem for me until my recent years. When I was younger I was very high functioning and because of my intelligence I made up for my focus issues in my ability to understand and comprehend. Now being in highschool, it takes longer to be able to understand the topics and I can’t focus for long enough to do it.

Something I’ve learned that I don’t think too many people understand is how severely ADHD can affect people. “Well it’s just a focus issue it doesn’t really do too much.” Well actually it does. Not having an ability to keep focus on something spans deeper than just not focusing on a project or a conversation. It can affect serious things like your mental sanity and decision making. Making important life decisions can be devastating with severe ADHD because you can’t focus on any decision enough to fully comprehend it. It goes back to understanding concepts and ideas. To truly take in something, I feel, takes some time. With ADHD your time you have to focus is ridiculously divided so it takes ten times longer. With your focus jumping to every object in a visual radius there’s nothing you can do but go with it. You are forced to take breaks and come back, your focus won’t have it any other way. It’s kind of like your focus is out to get you. People could tell you to get back to it and remind you all they want but if your focus isn’t there you really can’t chase it down.

Relaxation. Time everyone needs at least a little bit of. Just some time to yourself so you can clear your mind and focus on your thoughts. Oh wait, we have ADHD. Finding the time to align your focus and your conscience thought process enough to actually enjoy the serenity is close to impossible. It’s part of the battle between what you want to focus on and what you are able to focus on. The relationship between your conscience thought and your focus is like a spectrum. 0 – 100. 100 being optimum level. Reaching 100 is when your focus is fully agreeing and working with your conscience thought. Hitting 0 is when you can’t focus at all. Either it’s too busy bouncing around to settle somewhere or you just can’t find it, your focus is just shit. I’d say, but I’m no doctor or anything so don’t quote me, most people stay around 85-100. With ADHD the whole spectrum is visible and we are constantly bouncing around it.

So those were both just little focus blots I thought of. I hope this helps someone understand just a little bit more about the realness of ADHD. Let me know if you liked this blog maybe I’ll write some things of my own?

Sincerely,

Chaisten

 

 

Just Love Em

I don’t know how any one could get angry with an ADHD child or aduld for just being who they are; hyper (energetic), talks too much (enthusiastic), doesn’t listen (actually trying very hard to), unfocused (duh), never finishes anything (multi-tasking is hard), dumb (actually brilliant if we are taught how we learn). We just need some patients and understanding.

Gotta love ADHDers of all ages, we’re just so much fun to be around. 

Could My Adult ADD Really Be EFD?

So, I’ve just ran across a new disorder that I was unaware of.Β  It is called Executive Function Disorder (EFD).Β  Am I swimming in a bowl of alphabet soup? ADD, ADHD, EFD,Β  ect…?Β  I began to read about this and realized that it sounds a lot ADHD, without the ‘H’; that is important because nowhere in the description of EFD does it mention hyperactiveness, restlessness, or fidgity-ness.Β  The title of the article “Is It ADD or EFD?” , was too intriguing for me not to read.

Executive function is the part of your brain located in the frontal cortex that acts kinda like a company CEO.Β  It’s job is to analyze, organize, decide, and execute.Β  This key process seems to develop during puberty.Β  When everything is working well, it makes writing reports, work projects and meeting deadlines or due dates very attainable; but when the executive function is disordered, these things will not get done in a timely manner, if at all.Β  Normal executive function works something like this:

A.Β  Analyze task

B.Β  Plan how to address task

C.Β  Organize steps needed to complete task

D.Β  Develop a timeline to complete task

E.Β  Adjust steps needed for task completion

F.Β  Complete in a timely manner

Some symptoms associated with EFD are, misplaced school or work reports, books, important files.Β  Cannot keep track of personal items.Β  Cannot keep bedroom, house, or office organized.

I hope this has post has given you some insight into another one of these disorders that seem to plague us brilliant, fascinating folks.Β  You can find more info at ADDitudemag.com