Impending Doom: What Anxiety Feels Like To Me

It starts with a thought, a small worry, a slight gesture or change in mood or emotion.  It all begins innocently enough.  Then, the small fluttering in my stomach starts to happen.  The slight shakiness starts way down deep in my core, then radiates out to the tips of my fingers.  As the grave thoughts and feelings get more unavoidable, the fluttering in my stomach turns into a feeling of strong vibration.  Unlike nausea, this feeling is unwavering.  The shaking is getting worse and the sweating begins.  My pupils are now dilated as I am completely, physically, terrified.  The emotions  that accompany these intense physical symptoms are terrifying in themselves.  Every irrational fear is amplified as thoughts of dying are now consuming me.  I must be dying, I feel so out-of-control, detached, alone, AFRAID!  If I’m not dying, I must, because these feelings are now too much to bear!  I have ENORMOUS amounts of empathy for anyone who suffers from anxiety attacks.  They are HELL.

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