Medicine Is Good, At Times

It is so nice to be able to focus on what I choose to, not what my mind wants to. My mind would like to be all over the place, but not today. Today I took the medicine that makes the ADD go away. Literally, for the next few hours, I get to be as ‘normal’ as any non-ADDer. That is the only reason I can write right now.

It is also so nice to actually engage in conversation with my husband. He can yap and yap and yap, and I will catch every word. Usually, I cannot focus long enough to chat, let alone, listen to my husbands looooong stories. Today is a good day for me. Enjoy yours!

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WOW! What A Wait!

If you go to a psychiatrist with true ADHD symptoms, a diagnosis should come within minutes.  It should only take a professional mere moments to distinguish ADHD behaviors from those just being lazy or drug seeking.  I’ve heard, in some places, it takes MONTHS for a diagnosis!  WHAT!!! MONTHS!!!  That’s crazy! What the hell kind of ADHD assessment takes months?  If you are struggling and awaiting a diagnosis, I am truly sorry for your situation.  I was diagnosed in minutes and on meds the SAME DAY!!  truly life changing.

He Will Succeed With ADD/ADHD

Newly diagnosed, yet, full of promise. I vow to not fail my child with ADD, as I was so obviously failed myself. We’ve attained the diagnosis and are armed with the medicine to help manage his distractibility. It doesn’t end there though, children with ADD/ADHD have often built up a negative self image.  And, by the time they are diagnosed, self esteem problems are already there. I have to make sure my child knows he’s not damaged or dumb, he has to know that his brain is just wired differently.  I have to challenge myself to be the best example I can be. As a mom with ADD, I have to make my boy proud, I have to set a perfect example of a successful life with ADHD.

MY God,  did I say that? A successful life with ADHD ? Is that even possible? I’m 43 and far from a success. How will I ever do this? I could use some good references.

Wish me the best of luck as I lovingly try to raise a successful ADDer!

A Tuesday In October

Good day readers, it’s going to be a terrific Tuesday.  I am planning a day all to myself, for I am a deer widow. My husband will be leaving to go hunting for the day, the kids will be in school, oh whatever shall I do in my quiet house?.  I really want to do some furniture rearranging today, but I have a feeling my ADHD will get the best of me and I’ll bounce from room to room, not getting much of anything done.  Wish me luck.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday.  I am now being medicated for my bipolar disorder as well as my ADHD.  It kind of concerns me taking a new psych med, bit I’m optimistic that it will bring some positive change. My doctor also wants me to have an EKG to make sure the stimulants aren’t having any adverse effects on my heart.  I’m told this is common practice on “older” adults.  What the hell, “older”?? I’m only 43!  Oh well, I guess I’m not 20 anymore. LOL

In short, I also want to say “thank you” very much to those of you who read and follow my blog.  I truly hope to give readers insight on what living with ADHD is like.  God Bless!

The Benefit Of Medicating Young

I’m so proud of my step-daughter, she is one amazing kid!  You see, she also has ADHD like me; the difference is, is that she has been on medication to control her ADHD symptoms since she was about 7 years old.  Thankfully.  She is only 13 now and she has such an emotional grasp on her strengths and weaknesses.  I am so happy to see that, even though Lily has been through some rough times in her young life, she perseveres. Smiling, she doesn’t let things get her down.

I wasn’t diagnosed or medicated until I was 27 years old, and by that time, I had totally made a mess of my life.  I only wonder how my life could have been had I been medicated young.  I am excited to see Lily grow and avoid all the invisible vectors of ADHD that won’t pull her away from her focus.

Not All Stimulant Medications Are Created Equal

Stimulant medication is usually the first thing a doctor will prescribe for the reduction of ADHD symptoms.  But these medications do not behave the same way in my case.  I was first prescribed Ritalin several years ago and it worked perfectly; the problem was that it is such a short-acting med that I was taking 2 or 3 a day, as prescribed. I wanted something longer lasting so I opted to try Vyvanse.  It has not worked beautifully.  Though these drugs are in the same catergory, they work very differently.  The Ritalin made me calm, focused, nice, patient, and smart.  Vyvanse, on the other hand, makes me feel like I’m an idiot. Sure it calms me a bit but that’s where it ends.  And, I wanted to explain that my posts are so short because I am on Vyvanse, and it does not help the focus.

Have a wonderful Tuesday everyone!

Forcing Out A Post

Why is writing so hard for me sometimes? This should be an enjoyable experience, but when you have 20 million thoughts pulling you in all directions, it is hard to focus on one thing to write about. Like, I’ve said before, ADHD at its finest. I’m sure any true writer would be irritated to read this because writing should be a creative process, right? Forcing it is almost like faking an orgasm, it’s just not the same. I used to actually be a good writer, got a 4.0 in my Engl101 class in college. I’m not medicated right now, maybe that makes a difference. Maybe, hell, I know that makes a difference. I’ll take my meds tomorrow and try this again. Until then….

Medication Motivation

Happy Friday everyone! Since my post Na-Da, I’ve been a busy bee. The last two days I’ve been calm and focused, thanks to my Adhd medicine. I’ve been able to get so much done. And that’s the interesting thing about adhd and stimulants. Without them, we have a hard time getting anything done because we can’t focus on one task at a time. We get overwhelmed with all we have to do that, well, at least I, become ‘paralized’, and cannot do anything. But with stimulant medication, my mind calms right down and then I can focus on one thing at a time. Funny how that works with us ADDers.

My Add Impulsiveness

As I sit here desperately trying to get something written down, I am thinking about my ADD and how it has impacted my life.  I feel like I’ve accomplished a whole lot of nothing.  Before I go on though, I do want to say that my 6 sons have been my biggest and BEST accomplishment!

I know cause I’ve read it and because I live it, that one of the most dangerous things is a bored ADDer with uncontrollable vectors, pulling in all sorts of unhealthy directions.  I was diagnosed at 27 years old and by then I had made quite the mess of my life, now at 42 and medicated, I’m still cleaning up my “messes”;  and, if you can believe it, making more.  I’ve come to realize that my life, along with every other woman with ADD, is a work in progress.  We have to make mistakes to learn from them, but damn, why does everything feel like some sort of lesson that I’m doomed never to learn.  Let’s see; I have 6 boys, (kept trying for a girl), I’m on my 3rd husband, I’ve never held a real job for more than a few weeks, I quit high school 2 weeks before graduation.  And… I joined the Navy Reserves for a short time, I ran for a political position in my township…and won!  I worked on and off for several years in a loud, flashy-light nightclub;  I’ve attempted college more times than I can count, I have 3 medical certifications because I kept changing my mind about what I wanted to do.  I’ve been an addict, an alcoholic BUT also a survivor. If my life doesen’t scream ADHD, I don’t know what would.

Whew! Most of my secrets in one paragraph. All, in all, an ADDer is who I am, and most of the time I do not like myself.  But I am working on that.  Forgiving myself for all of my bad choices is a constant vigil. I bear scars from self-loathing.  Thank you for reading.