Missing You On Mother’s Day

I miss going to the greenhouse to pick out the perfect hanging basket of pink petunias, they were her favorite. I miss picking out a new set of plaid dishtowels, in just the right shade of country-blue to match her kitchen. I miss standing in the greeting card aisle, tearing up, as I read each and every heart-felt sediment. 

    Every now and again, I look at your pictures and wonder how I could ever cherish a piece paper more. At times, I’ll hear your voice, and it  sounds sweet like a song.  And, I’ll always know that no one could ever love me more than you did,  Mom.  Our relationship wasn’t perfect, and many questions will, forever, go unanswered, but, I know you were exactly who I needed you to be. Being a mother; it’s a labor of love that requires a special kind of person.  You were my person!

Thank you for being my Mom! 

Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven!  


Kindness Matters

If you’re in a crappy mood, keep it to yourself. Don’t be the dark cloud  over everyones sunshine!  Attempt to shed some of your bad attitude by feeling the warmth of someone close. Quit pushing them away or away they’ll stay.  Be nice even if you don’t feel like it, kindness is contagious.   And always remember the golden rule! Treat people with kindness and warmth. Respect is earned, be fair. And, above all, never judge anyone, your opinion is not their fate! 

Defining Diagnosis

I am the face of adult ADHD.  I am defined by my diagnosis.  My whole personality and outlook comes from an exhausting list of symptoms and shortcomings.  ADHD is funny like that, the symptom list describes sufferers to a tee.  I’m not nice, thoughtful, and caring; instead, I’m disorganized, impulsive, and inattentive.

Why does it have to be this way?  Is it that I really am just a walking disorder?  Too many times I’ve tried to be “better”, I just can’t.  This is me, a tangled up mess of issues and complications.  Quirky and funny at times, but always anxious about “blowing it” in front of people.  I try to hide my ADHD, try to pay attention when someone is talking, and try to be a good friend.  It just doesn’t work out for me.  My inability to stay focused has ruined a lot, of what could have been, good friendships.  I like people, I’m just not well liked in return.  Breaks my heart and causes me great angst.

I want to be defined for who I am, not for my disability.

…and who I am is an adult with ADHD.Snapchat-1178210889

A Day Oceanside

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Today Was a Good Day.”