After my dx, I pretty much became an alcoholic! I was so relieved to finally know that I had a disorder, and that I wasn’t just a complete failure at life!! But I quickly spiralled into a depression bc I realized that my ADHD was never gonna go away, that I was never gonna be a productive part of society! That I was forever gonna be just a walking collection of symptoms!! That I was never gonna get that Bachelors degree, never gonna have a real career, never gonna get a fair shot at success bc I am NOT and NEVER gonna be “normal”!
Life is better now though! I embrace my ADHD dx. I have accepted the fact that I am a hunter in a gatherers world. Learned to love myself, just as I am.❤. After all, what other choice do we have??
I haven’t written for a while. I’ve actually had a lot going on in my life to blog about, I just haven’t had the motivation. And what is my motivation now, you wonder… I wonder too. Is it my ever-present need for validation of my feelings, or is it just my need to connect with others out there, like me, who have ADHD and feel like they are THE ONLY ONE.. The Only One to have feelings of emptiness that nothing can fill, the need to escape reality by any means necessary because that’s what you were taught. The Only One who feels that they are totally unworthy of the love that those around them give. The Only One who feels that a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all; or that ,once again, reality is just too painful too bear. The Only One who decides what is right and what is wrong in their life. The Only One who is left in the dark much of the time; The Only One who thinks everything is okay amidst a world of chaos. And The Only One who feels these feelings is me; because here, in my world, I AM THE ONLY ONE.
So, I’ve just ran across a new disorder that I was unaware of. It is called Executive Function Disorder (EFD). Am I swimming in a bowl of alphabet soup? ADD, ADHD, EFD, ect…? I began to read about this and realized that it sounds a lot ADHD, without the ‘H’; that is important because nowhere in the description of EFD does it mention hyperactiveness, restlessness, or fidgity-ness. The title of the article “Is It ADD or EFD?” , was too intriguing for me not to read.
Executive function is the part of your brain located in the frontal cortex that acts kinda like a company CEO. It’s job is to analyze, organize, decide, and execute. This key process seems to develop during puberty. When everything is working well, it makes writing reports, work projects and meeting deadlines or due dates very attainable; but when the executive function is disordered, these things will not get done in a timely manner, if at all. Normal executive function works something like this:
A. Analyze task
B. Plan how to address task
C. Organize steps needed to complete task
D. Develop a timeline to complete task
E. Adjust steps needed for task completion
F. Complete in a timely manner
Some symptoms associated with EFD are, misplaced school or work reports, books, important files. Cannot keep track of personal items. Cannot keep bedroom, house, or office organized.
I hope this has post has given you some insight into another one of these disorders that seem to plague us brilliant, fascinating folks. You can find more info at ADDitudemag.com