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I Am A Hunter

We make our choices, live with the consequences, and embrace the lessons learned. I, myself, being an adult with ADHD cannot comprehend the very phrase I just ‘coined’. On the intellectual level where I “cruise”, there are emotional issues we deal with, almost always ALONE and ALWAYS MISUNDERSTOOD, (…we scream the wrong words, hence, we sabotage our OWN plight for a ‘cure’, [in ways that we JUST CAN’T EXPLAIN]). Wait! WAit! WAIt! WAIT! “Plight for a ‘cure'”? A cure for what? Ummm,
Hell-the-fuck Oh? (๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป) We’re NOT sick, or ill, in any way, shape, or form! We are entered into this world hardwired for a civilization long-lost…. We are ‘hunters’ in a world where ‘gathering’ has taken over! It’s actually very sad, that people like me are dying emotional deaths on a daily basis. ๐Ÿ˜ญ I’m about to get REAL, very, very real… I ALONE, meaning, I conjured up the preceding list of things I longed to do, or did, WITHOUT ANY HELP, (professional or other)…. You’re in for a ride…
1. Overcame 27 yrs of undiagnosed ADHD
2. Recognized my own differences in thought process at 7 y/o
3. Asked for a Drs appt at 10 y/o, to figure out my issues. –to no avail.
4. Survived a horrendously traumatic experience at 4 y/o
5. Had a miscarriage at 16 y/o
6. Survived several physically abusive relationships. My physical scars are proof of my unsuccessful attempts to find someone to loke me for ME!
7. Six sons, several fathers, a stack of paperwork on each of them that’s nearly three feet high!
8. Medicine IS my passion, NOT nursing…. Medicine. As in D.O. at the end of my name!!๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Received the “official ” MCAT study guide and practice tests, as a gift from my “D” when I got accepted into the University of Michigan, in Flint’s, College of Arts and Sciences. I was to be majoring in Biology and minor in Poly-Sci (my other interest). My goal? Michigan State College of Osteopathic Medicine.๐Ÿค“
9. Got bored one week before my first semester and enlisted in the United States Navy Reserve.
Ooh… This is getting looong. Please keep reading, it gets better…โ˜บ

Let’s pick up where we left off…
10. Was extremely sexually harassed by my recruiting officer, I mean, he didn’t whip out his actual penis, but the concrete mold of it, that was proudly waved in my face, was gross enough. Moments later, I was escorted into the office of Master Chief #$& (protecting innocent parties) where I was expected to maintain military-precise composure while I verbally gave my life, (and DNA), to the US Government.๐Ÿ‘จโ€โœˆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โœˆ
11. Hooked-up w my Dr. (in his office, I was being “seen” for allergies).๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•
12. Spent over 1/3 of my life as an “entertainer”, of the dancing sort.๐Ÿ’‹
13. Overcame alcohol addiction by counseling MYSELF in front of my bedroom mirror. ๐Ÿ™Ž
14. Beat a drug addiction that, on average, has a 80% fail rate, without the help of intensive treatment and therapy.๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป
15. Acquired 3 medical certifications, all of which, were ‘un-fulfilling’ to me.
a) CNA, b) MA (CMA/RMA), c)Phleb.
…blah, blah, blah๐Ÿ˜”
16. Buried both my parents.๐Ÿ˜ญ
17. 3 marriagesโค๐Ÿ’”โค๐Ÿ’”โค ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•Seriously, this is definitely tiring…I’m drained.
So, now you know. I always say, “Love me or leave me”. I can’t change who I am, a HUNTER in a society so catered to satisfying every whim of the GATHERER, that MY thought process appears strange. My brain is wired to comprehend, execute, and sustain ancient civilizations. I was born to make fantastic breakthroughs! ALL of the GREAT things humans are… is because of the people who were blessed enough to be born ADHD. We are the creators of the world we live in, though we take no responsibility for the demise of modern civilization.

I Am…

Depressing Diagnosis

After my dx, I pretty much became an alcoholic! I was so relieved to finally know that I had a disorder, and that I wasn’t just a complete failure at life!! But I quickly spiralled into a depression bc I realized that my ADHD was never gonna go away, that I was never gonna be a productive part of society! That I was forever gonna be just a walking collection of symptoms!! That I was never gonna get that Bachelors degree, never gonna have a real career, never gonna get a fair shot at success bc I am NOT and NEVER gonna be “normal”!
Life is better now though! I embrace my ADHD dx. I have accepted the fact that I am a hunter in a gatherers world. Learned to love myself, just as I am.โค. After all, what other choice do we have??

WOW! What A Wait!

If you go to a psychiatrist with true ADHD symptoms, a diagnosis should come within minutes.ย  It should only take a professional mere moments to distinguish ADHD behaviors from those just being lazy or drug seeking.ย  I’ve heard, in some places, it takes MONTHS for a diagnosis!ย  WHAT!!! MONTHS!!!ย  That’s crazy! What the hell kind of ADHD assessment takes months?ย  If you are struggling and awaiting a diagnosis, I am truly sorry for your situation.ย  I was diagnosed in minutes and on meds the SAME DAY!!ย  truly life changing.

My Consistent Inconsistencies

The one thing I can say that I truly hate about my ADD is my total inability to be consistent.ย  I start off like a firecracker then fizzle out just as fast.ย  With everything! I can’t stand it!ย  I’ll be so productive for a few days or so then, PFFFTTT! I’m done, not interested anymore, on to something else.ย  The one thing that I really am trying to be is consistent with this blog and my writing.ย  Tough stuff.ย  Especially when you really just don’t have it in you to write.ย  Usually, though, if I start typing, I’ll get on a roll, and before I know it, I’ve cranked out a post. Kinda like this one.ย  Thank you for putting up with my mundane babblings, readers, cause you never know when a stroke of brilliance will emerge.ย  Um, not today.ย  God Bless & Much Love