I want to write a letter. The kind of letter that you re-read, over and over. The letter I want to write will bring tears to your eyes, if only i could find the words. I need to explain to her the love that I feel. A love that cannot possibly be expressed into words. My heart is bursting, my words should be flowing like water; where do I begin? I don’t know if i can accurately describe this depth of love.
Even though I’ve had this blog for a few years now, I feel it seems inchoate due to my lack of organizational skills and inconsistent thought processes.
My youngest sons smile just melts my heart! How can you have a bad day looking at that sweet smile.via Photo Challenge: Smile
Each new day is a chance to be better. A fresh chance to give my husband, and especially, my kids, my FULL attention. Another day to work on my dreams and goals, a new day to try something new. A new chance to right all the wrongs I’ve done. Another day to accomplish all the things I put off yesterday. Just another night that I prayed to wake up a “normal” person, and that day never comes. Tomorrow never comes.
I wish I could just sit down and let creative ideas flow like some writers can. I seem to have a whole path of stumbling blocks carved out right in front of me. I want to write, sometimes I just can’t find the words. Having ADHD means that all the ideas flying around my head have no concrete topic. A little bit of this and a little bit of that; all comes across as mumbo-jumbo. Guess I need to go back to basics; brainstorming, outlining, and whatever other steps that are involved to be an effective writer.
Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself to write, maybe if I’m meant to be a writer then the words will start flowing. Maybe by the end of this post, some sheer brilliance will have come from my keyboard. Just one stroke of genius and I could write a novel. Regareless, I started this blog to bring awareness to the ups and downs of ADHD, and here’s one of the downs. We cannot always put our feelings into words, at least not words that a neurotypical would understand. And trying to write down the words isn’t always easy either. I have to get into a ‘flow’ before I can effectively write. And right now that ‘flow’ has flown the coop.
This has got to be one of my most disorganized posts thus far… Lemme get my shit together and try this again later. FOCUS!