My Reality

I don’t even have the attention span to keep this blog going! LOL   Since I have so much trouble writing in this blog consistantly, I’m letting my son stand in for a featured post.

 

Salutations! My name is Chaisten and I’m kid #3 (but really I’m #1 because let’s be real). Anyway, I’m 17 years old and I just recently moved back in with my Mother. Moving back in with my Mom has shown me a lot about my own ADHD. I was just recently diagnosed because it hasn’t really been a problem for me until my recent years. When I was younger I was very high functioning and because of my intelligence I made up for my focus issues in my ability to understand and comprehend. Now being in highschool, it takes longer to be able to understand the topics and I can’t focus for long enough to do it.

Something I’ve learned that I don’t think too many people understand is how severely ADHD can affect people. “Well it’s just a focus issue it doesn’t really do too much.” Well actually it does. Not having an ability to keep focus on something spans deeper than just not focusing on a project or a conversation. It can affect serious things like your mental sanity and decision making. Making important life decisions can be devastating with severe ADHD because you can’t focus on any decision enough to fully comprehend it. It goes back to understanding concepts and ideas. To truly take in something, I feel, takes some time. With ADHD your time you have to focus is ridiculously divided so it takes ten times longer. With your focus jumping to every object in a visual radius there’s nothing you can do but go with it. You are forced to take breaks and come back, your focus won’t have it any other way. It’s kind of like your focus is out to get you. People could tell you to get back to it and remind you all they want but if your focus isn’t there you really can’t chase it down.

Relaxation. Time everyone needs at least a little bit of. Just some time to yourself so you can clear your mind and focus on your thoughts. Oh wait, we have ADHD. Finding the time to align your focus and your conscience thought process enough to actually enjoy the serenity is close to impossible. It’s part of the battle between what you want to focus on and what you are able to focus on. The relationship between your conscience thought and your focus is like a spectrum. 0 – 100. 100 being optimum level. Reaching 100 is when your focus is fully agreeing and working with your conscience thought. Hitting 0 is when you can’t focus at all. Either it’s too busy bouncing around to settle somewhere or you just can’t find it, your focus is just shit. I’d say, but I’m no doctor or anything so don’t quote me, most people stay around 85-100. With ADHD the whole spectrum is visible and we are constantly bouncing around it.

So those were both just little focus blots I thought of. I hope this helps someone understand just a little bit more about the realness of ADHD. Let me know if you liked this blog maybe I’ll write some things of my own?

Sincerely,

Chaisten

 

 

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