There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. -Maya Angelou


Irrational Fears

Irrational fears cause anxiety hell for me! My greatest fear, I’m even afraid to mention… What if I speak it into existence? What if it truly kills me? The anxiety this causes is almost unbearable some days. Thank God for benzodiazepines! And we’ll just leave that right there; moving on,
I get scared if I’m too forgetful during the day! What if I  have early-onset dementia?! I get scared if my children are out of my sight for even a second! What if they’ve been kidnapped?! I freak out if I  find too much hair on my comb! What if I have alopecia?! I could go on and on…
And having ADHD makes it worse because my mind is always racing in different directions already, so I suffer several fears. Irrationally.
And the physical symptoms of fear driven anxiety are nothing short of terrifying. You literally feel as though you’re dying or going crazy or both. I have a big heart for ADHDers who suffer with this. I know what it’s like! I was once hospitalized for an anxiety attack. Not fun at all!!
You are not alone…

Back To What Works

I’m learning as I get older that it is important to learn from life experiences.  Not just going through the motions, but actually taking something away from trials and tribulations. Learning as I go.

I’ve been going back and forth with my ADHD medications, and I have finally settled into what works.  I believe I have tried every ADHD drug out there and some work better than others.  But, what works best for me is Vyvanse.  I need the long-acting focus.  I feel for anyone trying to get their medications regulated.  It is a long, month to month process.  Thank goodness I have found what works for me.  Good luck to anyone trying to find their focus.

July 4 2017

Well, I’m trying to stick to this writing thing, even if it is only a short post.  I am struggling for words these days.  It is like I have so much to say, but my story is exhausting to tell.  Having ADD makes it even worse because I cannot focus on one thing to write about. I’m feeling very confused lately, the relationships in my life seem to be on a downward spiral.  Through, no fault of my own, I might add. Yet, I am compelled to fix them.  I need people in my life, we all do.  It just seems that it is so hard for me to keep these relationships healthy and alive. Without trying, I feel that I drive people away.  That would explain why I really don’t have any friends. Just another issue in the life of an innatentive type ADDer.  Happy 4th of July!