Some days my secondary disorders overshadow the first one. My depression has stemmed from years of undiagnosed ADD. The regrets and disappointments are almost too much to bear.
I have etched each let-down, each irrisponsibile act, and each broken heart; I’ve etched everytime I dissapointed someone, everytime I didn’t listen, and everytime I wasn’t the friend that I should have been. All of these moments are each etched in a brick. I carry these bricks in a tattered backpack; on my back I carry this weight. I read these bricks every day and relive the pain and hurt I’ve caused; and the pain, hurt, and unrelenting guilt I feel.
I wonder, if now, a new disorder will appear. The Christian in me says, “let go, let God”. That may be the best advice I can give myself.
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