Everywhere But Here

A bit of this, a bit of that; ADHD at it's finest.

My Closest ‘Enemies’?


Finally getting an accurate diagnosis of adult add at 27 years old was a welcomed blessing; I finally had a name for my seemingly impossible persona. To say my life was a little crazy would be an understatement; I bounced around like a high-flying superball. I am a literal poster-child for this disorder. After my diagnosis, I tried to learn everything I could about ADD, so I could have a better understanding of how I ticked.
Revealing my diagnosis to those closest to me was actually pretty devastating. No one was surprised, they reacted as if they had known all along; I honestly felt like the but of some kind of cruel joke. If my issues were so obvious, than why didn’t someone, at some point in my life, suggest that I seek a diagnosis of some sort! It seems they all just sat back and watched me make mistake after mistake, bad decision after bad decision; and come completely unravelled by the age ofย  27. I had been drowning in my own self-created ocean of disappointment and failure, totally aware, yet to weak to pull myself ashore. Why wasn’t I thrown a lifeline? Was my life not worth saving; or was it just easier for people to watch me struggle.
I still struggle today with that realization. Where do I find self-worth when those I loved found me so unworthy.
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7 comments on “My Closest ‘Enemies’?

  1. tmezpoetry
    February 6, 2016

    By the way… Adhd’rs are the least likely to be so narrowed in perspective. The world needs us folks! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. tmezpoetry
    February 6, 2016

    When I told my sister, rather than being supportive or learning about it, she said, ‘Well psychologists say all kinds of things, they don’t know what they are talking about.’ But too, she doesn’t really deal with stuff in her life so it makes sense she would react that way. Adhd’rs need to be around supportive, relaxed and encouraging people who aren’t emotionally or psychologically so narrowed in their own life and perspectives.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Daedalus
    January 31, 2016

    Very interesting, I have wondered the same and sometimes feel mad at my teachers and even parents for being mean when I struggled rather than giving me the support I needed, but then I have to remind myself that it took me this long to realise what it was so its not fair to blame them for not realising. You should check out my posts where I talk about how it affected me.

    Like

  4. ledbennings
    January 31, 2016

    I believe that people unconsciously categorize other people and their actions. If your actions fit into their pre-set notion of how you behave then even when you do outlandish things it is normal to them. I think that by empowering yourself with knowledge and spreading the honest word about ADHD/ADD it will start positively influencing your actions. People should start noticing because you are changing out of your norm. You only have control over how you feel and it sounds like you are undergoing a life altering transformation, so good job! Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on January 30, 2016 by in Add, adhd, adult adhd, disorders, mental health, trauma and tagged , , , , .
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