My Closest ‘Enemies’?

Finally getting an accurate diagnosis of adult add at 27 years old was a welcomed blessing; I finally had a name for my seemingly impossible persona. To say my life was a little crazy would be an understatement; I bounced around like a high-flying superball. I am a literal poster-child for this disorder. After my diagnosis, I tried to learn everything I could about ADD, so I could have a better understanding of how I ticked.
Revealing my diagnosis to those closest to me was actually pretty devastating. No one was surprised, they reacted as if they had known all along; I honestly felt like the but of some kind of cruel joke. If my issues were so obvious, than why didn’t someone, at some point in my life, suggest that I seek a diagnosis of some sort! It seems they all just sat back and watched me make mistake after mistake, bad decision after bad decision; and come completely unravelled by the age of  27. I had been drowning in my own self-created ocean of disappointment and failure, totally aware, yet to weak to pull myself ashore. Why wasn’t I thrown a lifeline? Was my life not worth saving; or was it just easier for people to watch me struggle.
I still struggle today with that realization. Where do I find self-worth when those I loved found me so unworthy.
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Daydreaming About Billions


Can you even imagine, being at home, in your recliner, watching the drawing, and OMG, you hold a winning ticket! My brain can’t even wrap itself around that kind of money. That kind of instant wealth is something that most people will never, in their lifetime, ever see.
I am just like everyone else, I’ve daydreamed about having a 10-digit bank account balance.  And, honestly, I  stop dreaming right there; it’ll never happen!  Seriously though, have you seen the odds?  Our chances of winning the lottery are like hundreds-of-millions to one. But I keep telling myself that someone will eventually win; why not me?  Because I am realistic. — as I stare at this square of paper in my hand, and pray one more time.
We’re all facing the same odds, what the heck.  Good Luck to everyone!

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