The Guilt Complex; Why Is It Always My Fault

Am I constantly misunderstood or is it those around me.  When I was a child my mother used to always tell me that I “should be ashamed of yourself”.  I’ve since learned that if you shame a child they will grow up with a guilt  complex.  I eat, sleep, and breathe this problem; even now at 40 years old I still feel like everything I do is wrong.  From the simple act of putting on makeup, to making a quick trip to the store, somehow I’ve done something wrong (least that’s what I’m told).  I just cower as I get screamed at for what I have no real idea.  I am a grown woman who is treated like a child on a daily basis. I know that with ADD comes an inferiority complex, that is a hard thing to deal with.  I feel younger and more immature than any of my peers.  I hate this disorder, I can’t help but be verbally and emotionally abused.  Why does everything seem okay to me then I get a bombshell dropped on me that I’ve caused everything.  I’m sorry this post wasn’t supposed to go this way.  Thanks for reading…



  1. Hi! Me again. I’m officially hooked on your blog and reading through all your posts in chronological order.

    Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that this post really resonated with me. I also have ADD and an overactive conscience. I was emotionally and verbally abused as a child, and I am constantly treated like one. I can’t entirely blame people; I don’t feel like a “proper” 26 year old adult. I find I often end up interacting with older friends as if they’re older siblings and I’m much younger than I really am. Do you do this as well? It’s like I want some sort of mother figure or something. I don’t know. Sigh.

    You’re not alone!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know what you mean. I always somehow feel younger and one or two steps behind my peer group (except for the days I feel like a grannie :-P).

      I think I’ve made my piece with it by telling myself that we all have our own path and our own time. It’s not a race. I’ve moved along at my own pace. That’s enough.

      Plus, there’s something liberating about not worrying if you’re behaving enough like an adult (when the situation permits). I was hanging out with a 17 year-old on our school bus ( I teach in a school), and I turned to her and said ” [insert name], I’m going to be 27 next month. There’s a ten year age gap between us, can you believe that?”. Neither of us could!

      The guilt thing is a whole other can of worms. Let’s just they call it ‘practicing’ self-kindness for a reason.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Wow, that makes me feel so much better, quirky. That’s a much healthier way to view the situation. Thank you so much for writing this comment. It’s going to be really helpful when I’m at work tomorrow.

        P.S. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! Been months since I logged into WordPress! Hope you’re doing well.

        Liked by 1 person

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