A bit of this, a bit of that; ADHD at it's finest.
Sometimes it seems that the hyperactivity of my condition turns into paralysis. There is so much to do yet so little motivation. Clothes are piled up all over the house and the dishes are sky-high, the bathrooms could use attention and even the kids seem to be disheveled. I look around at the mess and am in a strange state of paralysis, I have no idea where to start. I get up from the chair and do a quick once-through, just to make sure the mess is still there and sit back down again. I have no idea where to start; everything is in shambles and I am overwhelmed.
I hate this feeling, I just can’t muster up the motivation to clean. If I could just get started. It is one thing have my mind going in 100 different directions, but when my surroundings get the same way, I freeze. I sit stare at the mess and get more depressed by the minute. “Just get started”!, well, to an ADDer it is not that easy. Already having invisible vectors pulling me every which way, when I try to start something I get pulled away, after several minutes to several days of being pulled away, I just become exhausted and almost ‘paralyzed’. Getting anything done at this point is a miracle.
At this point I enlist the help of my husband to get me started. He helps by doing the dishes or a load of laundry, just enough so that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, then I can usually pick up from there. Thank goodness, an end to all this stress is never far away; a gift of ADD, it’s never a consistent state of mind, things are always changing. Whether it’s for the better or worse, the way we ADDers see things will always change. We just have to be able to keep up.