Finally, I am sitting here in front of this computer, entering only my second blog post. How long has it been? a week, two, a month? Since my last post, I mean. This is my ADD-monster at its finest! –and the part of this disorder that I really hate. I always get very excited about new challenges and ideas, I would like to say that I’m an extreme optimist. Day 1 always begins with smiles, laughter, flowing positive and creative juices, excitement; I do it all gung-ho! But, unfortunately, for me and my new-found project, by day 2 my ADD reminds me that I don’t have the attention span to stick with something too long. By day 2, not only am I no longer interested in whatever it was I was so geeked about, if I try to remind myself how great it was going to be, I just get irritated. Then I spiral into this horrible mood because I am completely aware of what just happened. “Why cant you force yourself to continue on”?, you ask. I wish I could. Somehow I can magically rationalize to myself how ignorant that brilliant idea really was. So it gets filed in the area of my brain I like to call “the land of unrealized dreams”. This is how I live day-to-day, on a very short ADD tether. just when I get a running start, YIPE!!! I get closelined back to the ground.
If you are reading this, than you are officially along with me on my journey. Day 1 I wrote my very first blog, day 2; that is dumb, no one will read it, why bother. But, here I am at almost 3am writing my second blog post. You have seen the way my ADD negatively affects my life, also you’re seeing how it can be positive. I think I’m a pretty decent writer even though I’m 40 years old and have never read a book from beginning to end. Heck, I’ve been trying to get an associate degree for 20 years now! I really struggle with commitments; if it takes more than a day to complete, I probably wont complete it!
I am really going to try hard at being consistent with these posts. “The only consistent thing about ADDers is their inconsistency”–unknown